Coolazone

2007-09-03T09:05:00.000-07:00

2007-06-17T08:44:00.000-07:00

jus testing. lol. so bored nothing to do...

drifted

2007-03-22T09:49:00.000-07:00

ever since we _________ in the __________ , we hav ____________ apart and the feeling is really empty.. i miss the good old days... and i'm sure u're smart enough to feel in the blanks..

the whole damn world is obsessed with who's the best dress and who's the best sex. where the fk is is world goin... and i'm not emoin. i'm stating the facts.

sian

2007-03-05T07:23:00.000-08:00

i think therefore i am.

LA is actually quite interesting.

i found the perfect studying method.

random but yea only wat my fried brain can think of now.

-shui jiao!

2007-02-27T06:42:00.000-08:00

standing at a distance and all i can do is try.....

national vertical marathon

2007-02-25T01:17:00.000-08:00

today i woke up not so bright, and not so early at around 9Am in the morning to go to raffles MRT station, where the republic plaza (Singapore's tallest building) stands proud and tall to get myself tortured by paying $18. But the experience was well worth it.. We registered and waited painfully for 1 hours plus before being given the green light to torture urself. this sounds like a freaking narrative but i couldnt be bothered as now my legs feel jelly-ish.

our team came in 9th nationally, which isnt tat bad after all for a first time trial and mind u, we were competing in the TEAM OPEN's category. ok so after the climb, we spammed activade the drink and played like 10min of drinking game? haha! then we went to the coffee club to have muddy mud pie muahah! damn nice lol, but i believe NYDC one still better! who wants to give me a treat u noe where to go:)

Then after realising that only the top 5 teams get prizes, we went home.. so anti-climax.. but nvm i still have a dinner at JUMBO tonite haha! which i jus went like 4 days ago.. THANKS TO MR PHUA ZHAI JUAN (skinny babboon) because of his imba run and his imba position.. freaking GAY man!

16 Feb 2007

2007-02-16T02:21:00.000-08:00

well, this post is dedicated to all my good frens, and brother:D

Thanksthanksthanksthanks everyone for wishing me, especially (in no particular order)

Lisabelle
Yining
Simin
Cheng Kai
Gary
Priscilla & Jill
Jael
Samantha
Fang Lin
Thomas and gang:P
Jia Jun
Edwin
Rhoda
Perlewerlewerlewerlewerle.....
ZJ

Hope i left no one out:D pls let me noe if i did:D:D by the ways special thanks to Lis, Ning, And Ck for the slippers and the *ahem* nice shorts:P and ZJ for the cool cards and nice pouch!

ironman

2007-02-01T05:59:00.000-08:00

wa Fk man i tell u.. we all 'THOUGHT' Ironman was gonna be slack slack and more slack.. haha! guess we were all wrong.

Today was the most physically demanding day of my entire week.. went to east coast, swam about 400m plus, came up straight away put on my shoes and ran 3km plus.. after that went to the nearby housing estate to climb 25 storeys TWICE haha! cool rite? shiok rite? fun rite? i love it.. lollollol

Anyways after that went to take a shower before goin for vball trainin haha! shag like shyt now and my fingers are liek shivering:P gtg now tired bb

[i wanna shout it out loud but i'm afraid u couldnt hear it so i decided to whisper it in ur ear on a special day at a special place]

tried enough

2007-01-23T00:10:00.000-08:00

my toe hurts due to the ingrowth and i still went to run 4k wif my weights on. well i must be mad.. lol. anyways typing this in an empty classroom now wif emo songs playing on the computer..

on a totally random note: running, walking, crawling jumping allows u to think through alot of things. and i was running the really long 4km, there were alot of things tat were runnning through my mine..

"even heroes have the right to bleed"

mm and i decided, it was never my fault at the start, even if i was, i've rectified it and i guess after a while when u do not see results u get tired of trying.. like my present state.. and so.. woots! i've awoken to my senses, its over, wan le, jie shu le, bye bye, finished!

-and i have absolutely no idea WTF i was talking about jus now so dun ask, cos if u do, i swear to _______....

[stop ur outrageous rumours numnum]

KARMA

2007-01-10T07:25:00.000-08:00

u are fking hell easily influence... suddenly i see ur character- a pile of shit.. oh wells guess istood back in time jus to see and realise tat.. haha! thank god i stood back.. ohwells, i dun believe n KARMA, so i think in a fw yrs time i shall put u (the influentier) into a microwave oven.. FK u ________ actually wrong, why would i wanan fk u hen i can barely stand the freaking look of ur face or the mere mention of ur name!! no modesty, no pride, no respect, and a freaking BIG mouth.

oh on a lighter note, i suddenly tot about pri sku and everything about it, the paper plane, the notes, the BOOK(s)!! sian, i wish i coul somehow reverse time. but no point thinking about it now, i'm happy wif my present life, my good frens.. (ZJ, CK, NING, LIS)- thank life for being here haha! anyways i was listening to this song:D

"Lips Of An Angel"

Honey why you calling me so late?

It's kinda hard to talk right now.

Honey why are you crying?

Is everything okay?

I gotta whisper 'cause I can't be too loud

Well, my girl's in the next room

Sometimes I wish she was you

I guess we never really moved on

It's really good to hear your voice say my name

It sounds so sweet

Coming from the lips of an angel

Hearing those words it makes me weak

And I never wanna say goodbye

But girl you make it hard to be faithful

With the lips of an angel

It's funny that you're calling me tonight

And, yes, I've dreamt of you too

And does he know you're talking to me

Will it start a fight

No I don't think she has a clue

Well my girl's in the next room

Sometimes I wish she was you

I guess we never really moved on

It's really good to hear your voice say my name

It sounds so sweet

Coming from the lips of an angel

Hearing those words it makes me weak

And I never wanna say goodbye

But girl you make it hard to be faithful

With the lips of an angel

It's really good to hear your voice say my name

It sounds so sweet

Coming from the lips of an angel

Hearing those words it makes me weak

And I never wanna say goodbye

But girl you make it hard to be faithful

With the lips of an angel

And I never wanna say goodbye

But girl you make it hard to be faithful

With the lips of an angel

Honey why you calling me so late?

[.....what else can i say.....]

O1

2007-01-05T07:53:00.000-08:00

so today, O1 is gonna end soon after sea regetta.. piang i dunno wat to say le.. i'm half dead, tired but happy. Voka was great, vansburg was greater!! woots.. aisha (forgot how to spell srry) hav faith, will remain here longenough for us to dunk u twice ok:D i noe its comin soon muahah! ur OGLS are E.V.I.L.. anyways after tat follows xinrong.. whee!! tat one also very soon, make sure u stay super long for us to dunk u 4 times ok? retain haha!! and kaili, thanks for the maths, a million gazillion thanks.. and oh not t mention tat super *ahem* OG dinner tat u brought to the entire OG lol! and yea, i stiu owe u guys a truth, i noe, i will tell u tomorow if i can aha!

And today had dinner wif the juniors from 07v13, yiwen, umar, asryaf and willie.. ok we all were sick man, some test tube man!! wa actually ah, tat one is Fkin pain lei.. so stupid some ______... anywyas hey hope u guys had fun tonite man! lol, and asryaf is so dam funny la,, when i look at _________ i'm thinking why ur face like tat? lol and __-___ kana caught only la u, LOSER :P oh yea and thanks for tellin me so many things about ur class, whew, abit dumbfounded only la lol.. and willie thanks for giving us the idea of the truth and dare game, quite fun ah.. lol especially when u can get ur dream come true stuff sometimes!

ok i hope sea regetta would be fun, remember

welcome to the black parade

muahah!!

on a totally random note, i cant do more then 14 pull-ups now.. and u're such a bitch, i jus realised.. wtf man i was blind!!!

2007!

2007-01-01T05:17:00.000-08:00

woots, yesterday was out wif my pri sku frens BBQing at changi beach carpark lot no. 6... wa Fk man, we took like 1 and a half hours of walking, screamin, taking buses to reach that darn ulu pit. but ohwells we had fun together, its been sometime since we really caught up, listen to music together and rant the shit out of ou lifes..

So yes chingsiang the master chef was cooking and the gals 'helpin' *ahem* while we, the guys, sat around to play bridge lol.. (jj u bastard, whole day biddin notrump la.)ok yes tat day my luck was jus shit man, not good for playing cards.. but anyways screw it man, we were jus out to have fun, joy, peace (mayb not cos of the vulgarities) and laughter (definitely).

ok and shuting, u look weird and different and funny wif that slang of urs.. welcome back to our dear home country singapore, i noe sydney(ok was it this country? i dunno, but u get the idea) was good!

And then after the nice BBQ wif the freakin sandy floor where we play bridge, listen to limp bizkit, eminem, and jay chou. we finally got up and left tat memorable place which we took 1 and a half hours to find.

So we decided to call a cab, but FK la, no cab lol.. thanks sam for making that wonderful call which drained ur money cos of the long wait lol.. so yes, we walked to the bus stop and waited for the bus. ad the rest ok except sam and huijuan got on a cab to vivo (actually our wonderful jj wanted to go there but for wat u tell me!), lol!! and so we took a bus no. 9 to simei then we took a train to pasir ris from which we took a bus to downtown to countdown. boy! the atmosphere was a blast!! anyways after tat we went home and on the way went to the playground to rant about life again! did some stupid things wif a water bottle (wa FK la i cant believe we did tat can? thanks ah jj ur idea, this yr 31st can go check again!)

and then tat was the end of the day for me. as i was walking home at 1 plus tat nite, this song was playing in my head and ipod.. quite appropraite and meaningful as i was thinkin about certain things

"Say Goodbye" - jus the title meant something lol.. dun think too much

life

2006-12-22T07:27:00.000-08:00

talk about placelessness people, australia is one such example. ok i'm not gonna go ranting about my trip so i'll jus cut it short. it was a blast if not for the outrageously long bus rides... shopping's great there but u must have the MOOD as well haha!

Had class chalet, played bridge (totally pawned ur ass thomas haha) then jus had movie marathon after that when everyone jus went home.. so anti-climax haha.. ok tats about it cos i'm jus too lazy to go on anymore hhaa.. ciao..

the safest place to hide- your hands are mine to hold (buyaopaole)

sianzz

2006-12-10T07:12:00.000-08:00

tears of the sun, smile of the moon..

wodaodishitaiyanghaishiyueliang?

untitled

2006-11-24T08:39:00.000-08:00

不知道，不管，没关系。。。
dunno, dun care, doesnt matter.

my slogan of the yr.. it makes sense though haha
PS: vodka+drinking game= fantastic floating feeling
lis, plsplspls bring it man!

bored and back by popular demand

2006-11-14T01:41:00.000-08:00

OK so after a long long time since dunno when i've daoed my blog since. reason, damn bloody lazy to update haha.. buy now i'm back by popular demand.. (oops abit bhb here but allow me la ok?:D)

Lifes been great so far, all the mugging, and playing. a perfect balance for the perfect life. The latest highlight, PSL trainin. It lasted for 5 days man.. quite outragous considering the length spent on each session. But it was as if time flew past and ti was over. The trainin served its purpose, to groom the future leaders. (sounds cheesy but true) Had alot of fun times and not so mention MALU times.. wa lao i cant believe that stupid video is up there man. Argh! i dun even wanna think about it la, much less go check it out! PIANG! But anyways.. good experience *Ahem*

OK all the tags. lazy to reply to all so i'll jus sum up everything in a passage haha. Gelare was fun, and filling and puking and everything else tat u can think of that associates itself wif the mouth and stomach. Oreo cheesecake haha.. i still owe u one of those from starbucks man.. ohwells.. i shall jus conveniently forget bout it :P oops! kiddin la.. jus giveme a call man:D and mm the dance was crap la can.. look like some stupid idiot fool, and tat video is copyrite i shall sue mr boy haha! jkjkjk. And yes i'm taking very good care of myself, eating, sleeping well enough for a normal person to go on wif his normal life.. Oh not to mention the PSL trainin had lots of scandals.. -.-''' mostly untrue.. except for the Jerald and the *ahem* one haha.. rite guys? And to all the birthday babies in october, u are all welcome lol.. burnt a big hole in my pocket though but i was well worth the money if it makes u people happy on ur birthday, i mean its only once in a whole yr rite? haha...

Alrite, now it back to mugging. sian but actualy quite ironically fun, must reach my target to finish almost all the qns in the textbook haha! i'm nuts.. must be the sun from this afternoon's trainin. Caught up wif the VS people, haiz missed the old days back in the hostel in june, the chalet at downtown east. haha.. BAOJIN IS THE MAN!! STRESS GIVES U FEVER!!

now i'm gonna go sleep.. tired.. aching... cya toodles..

[ when i'm wif u, i wish that the bus breaks down, the MRT loses power, we miss the last train and bus, the taxi runs out of petrol, we lose our way- jus for more time wif u, even a second counts:) ]

leading two different lives.

2006-09-24T04:02:00.000-07:00

living wif a fissure in between...
compromising is tough..
i'm addicted..
mugging sucks...
i hate studying..
maths is getting into my head (pretty obvious)..
living two different lines..
my best fit line..
you balance the points on either side..
EOYs..
Comin soon..
Maple..
Cleric coming soon..
i dunno how to start our engine..
The momentum is not there..
i need a life..
topped BIO:D:D
the only thing worth being happy bout..
Mudane...
100GB is the cause..
bloody ranting post.
cos i'm damn stressed.
not about mugging..
about my addiction..
my addiction to two things in this world..
mugging and playing..

[u rock my world]- life without u sucks... my best fit line...

EOYs

2006-09-12T07:57:00.000-07:00

EOYs are coming.. haha.. hate this time of the yr. mug like some stupid idiot like tat.. damn sian, very no life man.. anyways found something interesting.,. tested it on my self and it works:D it was quite true, try it out guys:D i'm sure it'll work for u as well..

http://www.crushcalculator.com/content/love/778812685

paper please:D fav sentence haha.. my birthday present for rhoda wld be a stack of fullscap... dun mind hor.. yea.. see i knew u wouldn't mind.. ok set.. no changin of mind ah:P

teachers' day

2006-08-31T04:11:00.000-07:00

today is teachers' day celebration.. the concert in the morning was ok la.. except for certain parts.. *ahem.. CK and ZJ u noe wat i'm talkin bout man.. mm went back to HWS to visit some teachers.. talk to mdm Lee and realised that yea everybody has changed so much.. weird how the effect of a year of parting since the last meeting is..anyways went wif the guys to PS, decided to play LAN but the freakin LAN centres all full, then instead went to play education game:p boardgmae cafe.. lol.. free-flow of drinks man, had like 4 cups.. oolala.. anyways.. yea teacher's day was fun la.. and sam looks damn different.. lol.. changed like shit.. :p anyways gonna go back to mug now.. cya all l8r:D

[you are not an idiotic bimbo, trust me and relax. cos as long as ur frens believe in u, i think that's all that matters]- mayb u dun fit in but try ok:D cheers!

drifting part 2

2006-08-24T08:49:00.000-07:00

i pulled the handbrake and the car skidded to a stop.. i cant drift anymore. the TRACKs have finally prevented me, the inexperience drifter to go OFF COURSE.. the brakes that i stepped on, the clutch that i released, changing gears from 5 to a 2nd gear.. i cant take the pressure anymore, the race track is just to fast. i'm just an inexperienced drifter.. drifting here and there. without a goal, without a purpose.. but thank god, i halted in time, before i was mislead by my inexperience. with each drift u gain more experience, and u mature more.. but with each drift comes the pressure, the pressure of not goin off course.. the pain of losing some traction off ur tires.. i've decided, drifting is hurting. the pain is unbearable.. the handbrake would be rusty, the brakes would oxidize.. and the gear box would jam.. because for a long time. i wouldn't drift anymore...

["u're like a bumble bee", "no lo, honey bee nicer"] be strong my fren.. cos even if the world came tumbling down on u.. i'll forever be ur fren, to share ur burden:D

my earphones

2006-08-19T02:59:00.000-07:00

argh my earphones.. they spoiled.. argh pain pain pain.. $50 bucks man.. lol.. now gonna hav to wait till next week b4 i can go out to get one.. reason, my bor got exam.. boohoo.. die liao la.. how to survive next week.. damn it.. but anyways presently looking at sennheiser CX300.. looks stylo and nice man plus got warranty so if the stupid wire snap again i can go back and change it muahah.. till then.. bb :( shit la.. my post getting shorter and shorter.. lol..

musicless--- a torture.. the ipod's my GF.. lol

the power of drift.

2006-08-10T19:18:00.000-07:00

drifting apart. the corner that i never saw comin, the finishin line that seems so far away, the gear that i never wanted to drop, the handbrake that i never wanted to pull. why is this happening? - the power of the drift

being bored to bloody death

2006-08-10T02:32:00.000-07:00

ok people.. so after daoing my blog for a hell long time.. srry.. i've been really really lazy to blog nowadays. but since i'm damn bored now.. i think i shall jus blog:D haha..

life's been great.. ahem.. except for the homework and the test and the projects and the waking up early and the sleeping late and jus about everything else. life's great.. haha.. welcome back to rhoda after like serious official poning of sku:P she's back in class lol.. and she's so freakin laggin behind that i think she should jus retain haha.. but anyways good luck for the EOYs people.. gonna jus die la.. but after tat.. muahah major celebration and 'u' still owe me a hagan daas treat:P haha.. and 'U' also still owe me a treat for overall beating me.. haha.. and 'UU' still owe me a outing together for a movie.. haha.. and u noe.. i really am gonna be bored on fri.. haha..

but wat to do.. slowcroaches deserve it haha.. but nvm, there's still another time.. haha..

mm.. make an exception will u? haha.. i'll be glad if u say yes;D and the things 'UU' said tat they.. it was nice..

yes finally a nice post.. haha. happy at last people? lol.. kiddin.. gtg now.. bb:D

banging on your front door

2006-07-14T03:28:00.000-07:00

(ps: not referring to u bro:D)

for special reasons, i decided not to post this post anymore.. due to some misunderstanding.. so yes..

i'm helping u look forward to the next next monday .. haha.. ssh... only u and i noe:D but it shall stay that way.
[signing out- donovan]

japan trip

2006-06-07T23:25:00.000-07:00

long time since i've lang blogged, lazy la.. got infected by someone which i guess all of u should noe:P

anyways yes, here it is japan trip- mind blowing experience excluding lights out time:D

Day 1
on the plane.. nothin much.. did some scandalous stuff tat only certain and really certain people would noe.. actually thought of using pictures to explain but think it would be quite embarrassing, some poses are really.. u noe.. haha.

Day2
got off the plane, checked out. feeling freaking good, mostly due to the magnificient weather and the fact that we are in Japan.. jus 7 hours ago, trying to sleep on the plane and now we're in japan.. whew how time literally flies.. anyways first destination, lunch.. it was not bad, except for the minor sour, disgusting looking food. otherwise it was kinda nice.. after tat little prince museum, spent a whole two hours there freezing in the wind.. never had tat kinda experience in singapore.. NEVER even in an air conditioned room.. l8r checked into the first hotel. traditional hotel and had dinner. tried the public bath.. quoted from jerald. 'wa liew, never see so many dangling things at one go b4 in my life la..' ok u get the idea.. for those who dont get it.. i'm srry.. think harder.. not only harder.. dirtier as well. but nevertheless, the experience was one hell of a good, the hot water was simply marvelous, to put it simply. lights out, slept almost instantly.

Day 3
climbed mt fuji.. not as cold or tiring as expected.. jus two stations and i can see people panting like some dog. but oh well. different people hav different limits so ya cant blame them. anyways it was really high, and to emphasis on singapore's tiny land space, mt fuji is approximately the size of singapore. i mean the base of mt fuji:D on the way down had a good chat with dear fren amelia.. god she's damn freakin dirty la.. all the way, jokes jokes jokes and more jokes.. dirty jokes in fact. but of cos we also talked bout some other stuff la which i'm not about to disclose to anyone or else it wouldn't be a secret already. after tat had lunch at mt hut, udon and rice balls.. yuck.. pokemon cheated us:P. haha.. jerald u get wat i mean. anyways l8r had a long long long drive to the next hotel in which i slept throughout most of the journey. that is after playing taitee for hell long time.. dinner at some funny restaurant forgot wat it is already, then lights out.. first nite didnt dare try anything funny.. 1130.. slept instantly again..

Day 4
studio ghibli.. amazing place, the cartoon is even more amazing.. the effort being put into jus 1 over hour of cartoon way way exceeds the effort that we put into for our exams, all our exams in one yr in fact.. not exaggerating by the way.. taht nite.. lights out didnt sleep,, guess wat i did.. until 2 am.. :P.. u noe wat i mean.. gossip session till 12.

Day 5
disneyland, couldnt hav been more dissapointing la.. the rides were not tat fantastic by the way.. bought some stuff there and yea everyone from 06v13 had a wonderful time by the way.. plus sheng chow.. however pris noes wat i'm really thinking.. and yes..we shall not say.. splash mountain:P that nite slept at 1 i think.. was chatting on the phone.. hope i didnt disturb dai fei.. but oh well he slept like a log.. so yes.. who was i chatting wif, probably the only person awake.. haha.

Day 6
honda then shibuya, bought lots of stuff again.. some flashy dogtag.. kinda nice.. pet dog also bought one.. haha.. copydog.. lol.. saw this big big big apple centre.. but didnt hav time to go in.. i want a video.. but i still like my mini, cos it holds significant meaning eh bro:D nice blue color too.. not like the other blue colors around. so ugly..

Day 7
science mesuem, huge, bought stuff there again.. then left for narita, haiz.. 7 days gone so fast.. we're goin back to singapore already.. then at the airport took cohort photo.. boarded the plane, littel time for more shopping.. gals complaining as usual. then left my seat on the plane to sit wif amelia again.. yes.. chatted more.. knew some stuff tat totally shocked me.. haha..amelia u should noe wat i'm talking bout.. then there was cow.. haha.. l8r something unpleasant brewed out of something that was suppose to be nothin.. xiao ti da zuo! but ohwell.. let it be la.. it's stupid anyways.. then reached home.. unpacked.. ate the mochi.. yum yum yum! after tat melia called.. chatted for a while again.. told her not to worry.. some ceratin light vulgarities shot from my mouth and that consoled her.. then after tat went to sleep.. was freaking tired.. tats all.. the end..

MISS JAPAN TREMENDOUSLY- but it's good to be back in singapore..

2006-05-18T08:39:00.000-07:00

-next yr toa payoh my frens-

it's over

2006-05-18T08:02:00.000-07:00

the season is over.. i feel a sudden emptiness.. the empty feeling u get when u lose something of magnificient importance to u. Volleyball was half my life. now it is my life.. i'm living everyday now with no purpose. ok mayb the only purpose of studying blah blah.. sad life..

i somehow miss viewing VJC at nite.. at 9pm, 8pm.. the view is jus beautiful wif the street lamps lightly lit to guide a student on his way out of the sku.. i miss somehow trainin in the dark outdoors when we were waiting for the gals to finish.. i miss the dismissing of our trainin wif a loud powerful, uniting cheer.. i miss doin ridiculous things before our matches started.. i miss the times after trainin when we would all gather at a table to drink, chat for a while before parting noeing that tomorow we would be trainin together again.. i miss the cheering in the court.. i miss the encouragements from my frens on court.. i miss the banana cheer.. i miss the red bull cheer.. i miss the reflections.. i miss the visualisations we would conduct before every game.. i miss the IP combo during our HCI match.. i miss everything about volleyball. on court and off court.. next yr is a long long way to go.. but it would never be the same again.. because people are leaving.. and tat's sad..

This season ended wif VJC volleyball boys obtaining a national fourth in the A Div.. next yr would be our time to obtain a place in the finals. toa payoh sports hall, that's where i wanna go.. from nothin to fourth, we've come a long way, we've strived beyond our limits just for the future of VJC volleyball to be bright..

my teammates-my frens-my life
2-Gary(kor)~VS
3-Wai Kin(round round)~VS
10-Kenny(IP combo partner)~VS
11-Wei Xin(my short comrade)~VS
13-Ke Jun(ruffled up hair libero)~VS/ASS
14-Benjamin(chee bye fan)~VS

Thank You all.. we'll make it to the finals next yr.. srry wai kin.. u can watch us get the title.. :P
[VJC volleyball forever]

the lost

2006-05-10T07:04:00.000-07:00

haiz, we lost to TJC. toa payoh. next yr ba we'll try again.. it was a close fight, but we still lost. u noe how we lost.. wat more do i have to say but FUCK!

victory..

2006-05-07T08:24:00.000-07:00

victoria in singapore
there're other skus we noe
victoria is something more
the sku that watched us grow..

YES! history is written, we've beaten IJC.. 25-21 in both sets.. not a bad win. but can be improved and definitely need to be improved for the TJC match.. and not only tat, our stamina as well.. 5 sets to be played you noe.. 5 freakin sets, loads of fun and excitement. i could jus feel that adrenaline running through my veins for tuesday to come, i want to turn the clock, turn it 3 times faster so tuesday can come.

there'll be supporters and amazingly, i luv it.. i love the crowd, i love the noise and i love the applause, i love the cheering as well.. all these jus keeps me goin, keeps my heart pumping oxygenated blood to all parts of my body. i'm lookin forward to tuesday, for the final showndown between the rivals.. i can jus feel it coming, the victory..

TOA PAYOH- here i come.
[wats over is over and there's nothin u can do to bring it back]

VJC .vs. HCI

2006-05-03T06:45:00.000-07:00

2-1 the score to the showdown between VJC and HCI. next up IJC.. the deciding match to see who goes into the semi's.. we MUST win!

Attitude contributes to everything you do

2006-04-30T01:12:00.000-07:00

yesterday we had a friendly wif st hilda's and we won in terms of the number of sets that we've won.. if we play like that against NY on tuesday, the finals are ours.. the team really needs to calm down and pick up faster.. although i'm in no position to say this because i'm only 15 while the others are 17 plus, but kenny and i share the same thoughts that the team really needs to strenghten it's mind, we get too excited easily and when we are laggin behind, we tend to be conservative and play just to get the ball over.. tat's not the way man.. remember how we lost to AJ? it was the same fucking way.. srry i'm still very pissed wif the loss.. it was really wasted la.. but even when we're lagging behind, we should fight even harder.. play even harder.. spike the ball harder, push urself to receive better, drive urself to block wif all ur might.. in order to do that we must find the drive, the drive to motivate us to play harder.. you guys keep saying that u really want to win this, mayb that alone is not strong enough, how bad is ur want to win? even if it's very bad, it's difficult to just hav one single motivation, ours minds are not that strong yet?

we need to find another fucking motivation b4 we live to regret the matches to be played next week.. for me i have a few motivation, the motivation to play hard, the motivation to go beyond my 100% and it is that motivation that helps to keep me from feeling nervous during a match, it is that motivation that after i finish the game, i noe i had done my best even if we lose, i feel satisfied..

some of my few motivations: the want to win, the hunger to improve myself, my brother, the audience and amazingly, the vulgarities in my head.

THE WANT TO WIN
i really want to win this badly, because it is my first yr taking part in a competition who's age limit is way beyond my my level.. the pride i have in myself for achieving that, thus when i play i have the urge and the motivation to play my best, to go beyond the possible, to stetch my limits... that is the first motivation i have to play.. and be free of all nervousness..

THE HUNGER
i want to improve myself.. seriously, i want to be like wei xin who can jump so high, i want to be like wai kin who can spike so hard and consistently, i wanna be like my bro who is such a pro setter and i want to be like ke jun who can receive so well.. that is another drive..

MY BROTHER
i play better wif my brother on court, he's like the freakin pillar u noe.. never lettin me fall.. encouragin me all the way..

THE AUDIENCE
i noe some people cannot play up to standard wif the crowd, the audience esp when frens come to support the team.. but it is directly opposite for me.. when the audience is there, i play exceptionally well.. i also dunno y? mayb it because of my lust to show off. but that has turned into a sort of motivation for me.. when my frens come down i get even higher.. when the audience goes woah after a successful hard attack, a jump serve or a great receive i get even higher, i get even more motivated to push myself and throw all the nervousness and the chills down the drain..

THE VULGARITIES
some people might not agree wif the swearing and the spewing of vulgarities, but all this is part and parcel of life man and however irritated u get when we hear such stuff it's still gonna come smack rite in ur face one day, because this is fucking reality, this is the fucking world out there that is full of cruelty.. the harsh reality tat some people choose to avoid.. i hate such hypocrites.. i such fuckers that think the world is beautiful.. open up ur eyes and take a closer look man.. mayb u can see the phrase "this world is not beautiful, only jackassess see it as such" ok so enough of the ranting.. when i make a mistake or when the opponents slam down hard on our court, i'll constantly swear and this only makes my blood boil and it is also a form of motivation to slam them back..

and yes so the team players have to find this sort of motivation, only then can we make it to toa payoh sports hall and play in the air-con..

PS: srry for the use of vulgarities, it's a way of getting my point across:D and i was never nervous for all the matches..
NY here we come.. head-on, u better be ready for us or else.

volleyball

2006-04-26T08:04:00.000-07:00

NYJC HCI IJC

tat's our draw.. are we lucky or wat man.. we couldnt have possibly got a better draw out of this shitty(srry fang lin i had to say this.. haha) situation tat we thought we were in.. but anyways tat's not the point.. the point is that we must now work harder.. fight harder.. because they are not our real opponents, they're not tat strong, we are all equal.. the only person tat we hav to fear, that we hav to beat, that we have to overcome if we wanna win this is OURSELVES.
Next match coming up is on tuesday, labour day we would hav trainin and i dunno bout sat.. hope there is too so i can train after our OPEN HOUSE.. and erm yes tomorow and friday's there's trainin.. i reallyluv trainin now.. riding the waves.. my theme of the year.. haha..

and this few days i really feel rejuvenated.. even tough we lost to AJC.. but we lost fighting.. we lost with pride and honour.. like wat my coach used to say.. shu le bu yao jing, dan shi yao shu le, zou chu qiu chang tou gao gao! and that's wat we did.. walk out of a game with pride and fame, we feel no fear we feel no pain..

PEOPLE, hang in there, i noe the trainins are tough and many of u are lacking in ur studies.. but we all noe tat the hardwork we've put in, the perspiration we hav dripped, it's all worth it! 5 more matches to go.. come on, we can do it.. it's the only way.. zhan sheng zhi zi ba!

[A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E=100%]
amelia come down support la. mayb u can learn faster tat way.. haha..

life is f*cked up

2006-04-23T08:55:00.000-07:00

[Verse 1:]
See i dont, know why, i liked you so much
I gave you all, of my trust
I told you, i loved you, now thats all down the drain
Ya put me through pain, i wanna let u know that i feel

[chorus:]
F*ck what i said it dont mean shit now
F*ck the presents might as well throw em out
F*ck all those kisses, it didnt mean jack
F*ck you, you hoe, i dont want you back
F*ck what i said it dont mean shit now
F*ck the presents might as well throw em out
F*ck all those kisses it didnt mean jack
F*ck you, you hoe, i dont want you back

[verse 2:]
You thought, you could
Keep this shit from me, yeah
Ya burnt bitch, i heard the story
Ya played me, ya even gave him head
Now ya askin for me back
Ya just another hag, look elsewhere
Cuz ya done with me

F*ck what i said it dont mean shit now
F*ck the presents might as well throw em out
F*ck all those kisses it didnt mean jack
F*ck you, you hoe, i dont want you back
F*ck what i said it dont mean shit now
F*ck the presents might as well throw em out
F*ck all those kisses it didnt mean jack
F*ck you, you hoe, i dont want you back

Ya questioned, did i care
You could ask anyone, i even said
Ya were my great one
Now its, over, but i truly mean im sad
It hurt real bad, i cant sweat that, cuz i loved a hoe

F*ck what i said it dont mean shit now
F*ck the presents might as well throw em out
F*ck all those kisses it didnt mean jack
F*ck you, you hoe, i dont want you back

helmsman

2006-04-20T06:57:00.000-07:00

Gosh i love love love helmsman week man. its like the only time when we can relax and not think about homework for once. yesterday we went to the New Majestic Hotel.. whoa damn freakin cool man, all the chairs, the artwork, man too bad for the other 3/4 of the cohort who didnt get a chance to visit the hotel.. then today, we went to the zoo, i just realised that i havn't been to the zoo for like ages, EONS, MOYS.. it stink, the zoo stinks like hell, smells so Zoo-ish.. i hate the stupid smell but anyways we still hav to bear wif it. then there were talks on how they marketed themselves, how they succeeded blah blah blah.. after tat it was lunch time, YAY! my group was the first to reach KFCs man.. we seemed like a hungry group of pigs.. OINK! l8r on, all the other groups started to stream in and the place was packed like hell. luckily we arrived first.. like the saying goes, the early bird catches the worm.. after tat, my group decided to go on a short short short.. very very short tour of the zoo, erm try thinking 20 mins.. after tat it was time to head back to sku, waited for hell long for the bus to arrive argh.. warm man.

then when we went back to sku to meet our doom- SS test papers, we got a scoldin instead.. bout some groups not sticking together as one blah blah.. luckily my group mates are all cooperative and damn nice so yeah we moved as one.. so we didnt get the stupid punishment of writing an excuse letter.. and yeah i got like only 17 for the SS test, freakin hell man. my parents are not to happy wif the marks but oh well wat to do, i did it without a free mind.. it was durin one of the darkest times in my life. so ya naturally didnt do well..

and OMG i luv luv luv my group to bits man.. the people there r like so so cool.. almost all come from diff skus except two extra people.. lol kiddin only ya? leanne is funny, ridiculous blah blah blah. kev, he and i got some stuff to talk about games.. esp now he's seen my darlin precious playin device.. jing jing, omg, she is damn damn enthu in a great way man.. gosh lucky to hav her in our group, always can get thing done. fang lin, oh she's a nice gal+ a great group leader although she didnt do much except keepin the time. and not to mention.. she's damn damn damn lame and E.G.O man.. gosh, she like has this bag of ego and lameness all stored inside where she carries it around all the time.. haha, but nevertheless, they're all great people.. looks like the JAP trip would be fun.. YAY! haha although i'll like miss some people.. :'(

[all for one and one for all]- i'm glad i hav these people in my group (n^9)

a victory.

2006-04-18T07:40:00.000-07:00

VJC vs TPJC
25-16
25-8

our first match.. our first victory.. together as one, as a team.. whew i havnt felt like that in a long long time.. thanks bro and all the others.. haha.. i kinda miss the environment, the atmosphere at the competition hall, the screaming, the cheering, the shouting, the crazy scolding, its just there.. but when u're in the court.. everything becomes 0blivious to u, except ur team, the scoreboard.. as u stand there at the end line.. holding the ball in ur hands.. knowing that the moment u get it over, the games starts, the fight of the fittest commences.. the crowd goes silent, you hear ur own heartbeat, you hear the cheers from ur team. u bounce the ball once twice and as the spectators count down the seconds, you know u're ready, ready to start.. you feel ur teammates and everyone's glare at you, u are the main focus of the game just at that spectacular moment.. oh that feeling is just great.. you find the confidence, take a deep breath, feel the oxygen go down ur windpipe, into ur lungs.. that exuberant feeling.. the feeling of something which words cannot describe. you toss the ball and as your hand comes into contact with it, you know.. the journey has began, the journey of hope has began, and when the going gets tough, you only need to hold on, hold on if u feel like lettin go, because you noe that out there somewhere ur teammates, ur frens are cheering for u.. Hold on, possibilities exist [H.O.P.E]

next up, CJC, the choppin game, again, i'll feel that feeling, the only feeling that can fill the emptiness in me now.. i feel carefree again.. i feel carefree, because the world has changed and, i'm very happy about it. the boundaries are gone, the restrictions have vanished.. its like a horse finally being able to run freely in the meadow again, its like an otter finally being able to swim freely in the water again.. its like me, being able to explore the possibilities of everything, of everyone.
[everytime we touch i feel the static]- comparing feets are funny, gosh their feets are the length btw my first and last finger :D

dao-ed

2006-04-15T21:59:00.000-07:00

life is full of suprises.. it catches u when u least expect it.. life without u was terrible.. but now u're back.. its full of life again.. haha.. srry if i'd neglected u.. i promise that wont ever happen again.. u mean the world to me and it gonna be the same as b4.. and this time i hope that nothin will go wrong because there will be no disruptions.. i wont allow any disruptions.. i noe u're frustrated wif the mixed feelins wif someone else now.. but u hav to decide for urself wat u really want :D and i guess i noe the decision that u hav made.. and that decision itself makes me feel happy.. YAY! haha..

i got dao-ed today.. for the first time in history.. by a fren.. i fren i once knew was the best in the world..
[frens dun last.. kinship does]

Quiet Foot steps

2006-04-14T09:32:00.000-07:00

只剩下鋼琴陪我談了一天
Zhi sheng xia gang qin pei wo tan le yi tian
Only the piano accompanies me throughout the day

睡著的大提琴
Shui jiao de da ti qin
The sleeping cello

安靜的舊舊的
An Jing de jiu jiu de
Quiet and so old

我想你已表現的非常明白
Wo xiang ni yi biao xian de fei chang ming bai
I think you've made yourself clear

我懂我也知道
Wo dong wo ye zhi dao
I know and I'm sure

你沒有捨不得
Ni mei you she bu de
You don't regret

你說你也會難過我不相信
Ni shuo ni ye hui nan guo wo bu xiang xin
You say you're upset too, that I don't believe

牽著你陪著我也只是曾經
Qian zhe ni pei zhe wo ye zhi shi cheng jin
You being with me was in the past

希望他是真的比我還要愛你
Xi wang ta shi zhen de bi wo hai yao ai ni
I hope he loves you more than I do

我才會逼自己離開
wo cai hui bi zi ji li kai
Only then will I bring myself to leave

Chorus

你要我說多難堪
Ni yao wo shuo duo nan kan
You want me to say it, but it is awkward

我根本不想分開
Wo gen ben bu xiang fen kai
I don't even want to break up

為什麼還要我用微笑來帶過
Wei she me hai yao wo yong wei xiao lai dai guo
Why must I depend on a smile to tide me through?

我沒有這種天份
Wo mei you zhe zhong tian fen
I don't have the ability

包容你也接受他
bao rong ni ye jie shou ta
To accept both you and him

不用擔心的太多
Bu yong dan xin de tai duo
Don't worry too much

我會一直好好過
Wo hui yi zhi hao hao guo
I'll still be fine

你已經遠遠離開
Ni yi jin yuan yuan li kai
You've already gone far away

我也會慢慢走開
Wo ye hui man man zou kai
And I will slowly walk away

為什麼我連分開都遷就著你
Wei she me wo lian fen kai dou qian jiu zhe ni
Why is it that I have to accommodate you even when [we] break up?

我真的沒有天份
Wo zhen de mei you tian fen
I really don't have the ability

安靜的沒這麼快
An jing de mei zhe me kuai
Staying silent doesn't come so fast

我會學著放棄你
Wo hui xue zhe fang qi ni
I will learn to give you up

是因為我太愛你
Shi ying wei wo tai ai ni
Because I love you so much

OMG.. i dunno y i'm jus so addicted to this song now.. haha.. keep hummin it in class srry for that awful sound sometimes durin class Kaoru.. haha..

by the way.. the song holds no meaning for me watsoever.. i jus find it very nice.. tats all.. so ya. haha.. ok.. i think i shall go sleep now...

it rained today, the sky might be cryin.. haha.. i dunno.. all i hear is the constant tapping of the rain drops on the window sill.. it brings back fond memories of u, us and i...

[team]

happiness comes when u least expected it

2006-04-13T07:08:00.000-07:00

i am bonded to this team now.. wow... i'm amazed.. mayb its because i've learnt alot of things recently from the recent events.. yes thank you in a way..

i've learnt to ride on pressure, the best way to motivate myself to improve is to hav a constant pressure wave that you can just ride on.. and yes i've learnt alot from my bro today.. shou la zhi, kuai dian da, ban gao qiu, bai ban.. all this terms just seemed so far away and vague previously.. now its clearer now.. i finally understand the true meaning of these terms.. yes.. now i can confidently say that i'm ready for the competition.. thank you people.. haha..

and thanks to all the people who cared when i was down:) esp my fellow cartoonist :D

2006-04-11T07:48:00.000-07:00

this poem is jus for fun.. dun wrry i wont cut my wrists.. its jus stupid..

i paint a pretty picture
i paint it with a twist
i paint it with a razor blade
i paint it on my wrist
and if it's painted properly
a fountain would appear
and in that bloody fountain
my troubles disappear:)

and this one is from Kaoru Ayaka

such pain
such fears
the tears that flowed
such happiness
such joy
the smiles that shone
i know i know
such feelings are subjective
yet this is my perogative
my right
to be both
at the same time.

nice rite:)

2006-04-10T07:37:00.000-07:00

yes i have decided...

a new picture

2006-04-10T00:31:00.000-07:00

a new picture has been created.. a picture that would free me of all the pain the old one has been giving.. the pieces where never meant to be able to coexist... when one is there, the other two will never be able to fit properly into the puzzle.. thus i hav created a new picture. a picture where everypiece fits exactly the way the way that i want it to be... i'm srry for chuckin the old one away because it has been bringing me too much pain... too much indeed.. almost everyday i fret about it.. U noe wat i'm talkin bout rite? my partner in D&R Co. pte ltd.. thanks for ur concern but this is my choice or rather my decision to restart my life... a life tat would be filled with less pain.. u'll still always be part of my life.. but pls give me a sign that u want the old me back.. or else it would jus walk further and further away into the darknest until it is no longer in sight..

[smile for the pain, cos it will fade away]

the comps..

2006-04-07T08:10:00.000-07:00

'A' Divisions are comin up... april 17, monday, TPJC.. our first match.. and actually, believe it or not.. a crucial match.. i'm a 15 yr-old playin in a 'A' Division competition for 17 yr-olds.. greatly at a disadvantage. but i'll strive to do my best.. mayb wif all the pressure building up i can improve faster.. and mayb i'm just feel so suppressed tat i stun my improvement.. i really dunno.. mayb i should jus try to relax.. ya relax.. takin in deep breaths is one way.. another way.. well its a secret.. haha.. looking forward to it:D

[my first 'A' div competitions.. i wanna win something badly]

since people put the faith in me by allowin me to play in the main team.. i shall go all out to win.. nothin wil stand in my way.. even PRESSURE..

suffocation..

2006-04-05T08:02:00.000-07:00

the rain
it brings back fond memories of the team
the VS one
i miss it
i luv it

now the problem now is that i feel really really suffocated... suffocated by the fact that alot is being expected out of a mere 15 year-old. i am playing with people of 17+, people who have more experience, people who expect near perfection.. not perfection but NEAR perfection. trainings are never the same as before, trainings are full of seriousness.. every little action counts.. u're expected to be 100% serious, no jokes while drills are being carried out.. its jus different.. the whole atmosphere, so solemn like a funeral.. mayb i've yet to mature, mayb i've yet to understand the seriousness of training.. but in my perception, training is yes suppose to be serious.. but not serious to a point where it becomes torturous.. i dunno.. i really dunno.. back in VS, the drills were heavy, we encouraged each other on.. but in a different style, its the usage of jokes.. it brightens up the place, lightens up the atmosphere.. but here its just different.. the pressure is jus building and one day, when it reaches pressure point.. i may just explode and there goes my passion for the sport.. i hope that day would never come.. i hope time flies faster to a time when my dearest captain.. the only captain in my heart-- ERNEST PUEY and CO. comes to Vj, and then its back to the good old times my fren.. till then.. the pressure will just continue to build...

continuation..

2006-04-04T08:11:00.000-07:00

the continuation..

i jus found out that the pieces are very easily found except for the first one.. i jus cant seem to find.. however hard i try and try to do so it jus keeps hiding itself.. mayb for the first piece to come back, some other pieces must disappear but then tats not possible because if tat's the case, my picture would not be COMPLETEly perfect.. i'm now making the decision to continue searching for that obstinate first piece or to give up and fill the remaining space with yet another piece, but somehow if i do tat the third piece would not fit properly.. and thus the second would also not fit in nicely.. rite now at the moment.. i hav some vague idea as to where the third piece is and the second piece is back at its place but without the other pieces, it will jus be hangin on in air... like an apple in a big spherical thing.. moving about randomly.. so yes.. i've decided tat since the second piece is found and tat its the bridge to the first one, and because the third one is almost there.. i;ve made a choice

[to continue searching for that first and last piece to make my picture perfect once again]

***and i wld also like to thank rhoda for her advice on some stuff, plus for listenin to me crap about my problems in class.. thank you alot for being there for me in my darkest times.. u're a great fren...

dead

2006-04-03T07:54:00.000-07:00

DEAD like JIG'SAW 2' Puzzles

my world has collapse on me... my life is made up of three things currently... one side has already collapsed and the other- collapsing... the thrid goin to collapse soon... why r all these things happening? it was all ok at first now its jus collapsing... i dun think i can hold on any longer... the three things tat hav driven me to living my life is now falling apart... and i guess i'm partly responsible for it... for gettin to emotional with certain things... tat had clouded my perception of love... many different forms of love... these love surrounds me everyday, and at a moment in time i was feeling the prime moment of my life where everything fits like a perfect jigsaw puzzle.. now one part is missing... its lost somewhere underneath the other pieces... i only need three more pieces to complete the jigsaw.. it was completed at first.. but somehow circumstances dismantled the beautiful picture and when i tried to re-piece it again, i somehow fine three missing.. i've got some idea as to how to find the thrid piece, but the second is jus lingerin somewhere in this world and the first piece.. totally gone.. i try my best to find it but i jus cant, its just like finding a needle in a haystack.. pls pls.. i cant live without any of this pieces gone.. i've already lost one piece for good.. pls pls.. the second piece... give me a sign as to where u are so i cant put u back in the picture where u belong and then the third piece would jus appear... the sense of insecurity.. when is it ever goin to end.. the ending of that particular feeling would mark the start of a new conquest a new conquest for the missing first piece in my life where i'll take all my life to find it... i'll never give up... so second piece, u're the bridge to this conquest.. i hope u understand that i never wanted this to end.. its still hangin in the air now.. i'll give u time and space but pls pls.. u're the bridge.. i need u to pave this conquest for me... thank you.

faith

2006-03-30T07:01:00.000-08:00

i'm lost
in a place called togetherness
mayb i should hav faith in u
but the circumstances
they jus oppose to such a thing
but i'll try
i promise.

self-discovery

2006-03-29T06:57:00.000-08:00

the things in life tat u never thought about has recently got me thinkin about them.. today i had this self-discovery sessionheld by mr chew.. it was really beneficial. well to me at least it was.. i've been thinkin bout the things tat i brought away wif me today..

the knowledge of death changes everything.. thats the phrase which will always be embedded in my head.. actually when i fist heard of it i agreed fully but i never knew wat it meant.. its significance, its meaning was yet to be discovered by me.. and yet today, with all the coincidence in the world i could gather i experienced it.. i felt it.. i now live by it.. with the knowledge of death, i treasure things more.. i try to live my life to the fullest.. i've learnt to live without regrets because they're a waste of time and resources but life itself is bound to be filled wif little little regrets however small will always occupy the darkest space in ur heart.. with reference to this little activity tat we did, i've also learnt that in our lives we always live with regrets and when we know of death, its precise time and place and period, we suddenly realise that the life tat we have lived is not satisfactory to our own mindset of wat life is all about.. we suddenly realise tat in life we dun hav time.. we never hav sufficient time to accomplish wat we hope to accomplish but tat's inevitable.. because we as humans are never satisfied, never happy with wateva we hav.. the true nature of the mind..

well i've decided that from now on, i would treasure those around me even more.. know tat they're there for a cause, and thus live my life to the fullest with the mindset of satisfaction with wat i hav.. life would never be the same again.. the world which i view with the once immature and unsatisfied viewpoint will forever change.. the world which i see now is a platform for us to develop, live meaningfully and NEVER NEVER EVER TAKE THINGS FOR GRANTED!

breathing in the air now.

2006-03-24T07:18:00.000-08:00

its been like three months in the VIP and there hav been many twist of events.. good frens turning to enemies, enemies turning to good frens and good frens turning to couples well there's onli like one official one in the class now.. haha they're like so open bout it.. so fun.. lol.

anyways the air i'm breathing in now is way way different from that i'd breathed 3 months ago.. i've lost a good fren because of some misunderstandin that we cant seem to clear and things hav jus been stagnant fer like hell long.. i jus wanna say i'm srry.. if u cant seem to accept tat and forgive and forget then there's really nothin i can do about it.. i've tried to make it up, to patch things up but i've failed... and there's nothin i can do now to alter the past.. well i guess i'll jus hav to live with it..

well recently trainin has been really tough, ending late and the drills are more demanding of ur stamina now then before but its jus becos the comps are comin.. i guess i'd jus hav to hang on till it pulls through anyways tat would be easy because i hav my bro and good frens to support me through.. missing lessons will never be the same again.. here every lesson counts but i'm sure my frens wld help me catch up in the near future ritE? haiz i used to luv skipping lessons but now i cant afford to... well tats all then.. i'm goin to sleep now.. hope i dun lose sleep.. haha.. kiddin kiddin..

"Breathing"

Eyes are feeling heavy but they never seem to close

The fan blades on the ceiling spin but the air is never cold

And even though you are next to me I still feel so alone

I just can't give you anything for you to call your own

And I can feel you breathing

And it's keeping me awake

Can you feel it beating?

My heart's sinking like a weight

Something I've been keeping locked away behind my lips

I can feel it breaking free with each and every kiss

I couldn't bear to hurt you but it's all so different now

Things that I was sure of

they have filled me up with doubt

And I can feel you breathing

And it's keeping me awake

Can you feel it beating?

My heart's sinking like a weight

I can feel you breathing

It's keeping me awake

Could you stop my heart?

It's always beating.Sinking like a weight

How am I supposed to feel about the things I've done?

I don't know if I should stay or turn around and runI know that I hurt you

things will never be the same

The only love I ever knew

I threw it all away

And I can feel you breathing

And it's keeping me awake

Can you feel it beating?

My heart's sinking like a weight

I can feel you breathing

It's keeping me awake

Could you stop my heart?

It's always beating.

Sinking like a weight.

[breathing u into my new found life now is a joy... thanks!]

2006-03-19T05:54:00.000-08:00

sets service gains/loss spking gains/loss total includin other unshown factors
Donovan 5 6 -3 7 -2 4

Service Spike Dink Block 1st Ball Defense Others
Team Statistics Gain Loss Gain Loss Gain Loss Gain Loss Loss Loss Loss
16 -12 40 -22 9 0 6 -10 -10 -35 -7

SET 1 25-23 (O-9)
SET 2 25-17 (O-11) VICTORIA JUNIOR COLLEGE VS JURONG JUNIOR COLLEGE
SET 3 26-24 (O-10) Mar 18 2006
SET 4 20-25 (O-9)
SET 5 25-13 (O-10)

YAY!! My personal best.. total score POSITIVE 4... haha.. damn shiok la.. must train harder.. and beat that personal record.. muhaha

fAtE

2006-03-19T00:03:00.000-08:00

fate..
can anybody fully explain to me the meaning of that word..
everything revolves around fate which cannot be controlled however ironically we can do some things to our life in hope of changing our fate..

the place we're born in, the life that we are leading, the friends that we're making are all part and parcel of life which is controlled by fate..

fate the sophisticated term that controls our life.. why do some people live a miserable life while others have a shity life.. all because of fate..

fate also plays an important role in meeting people.. haha really big part..

i remember the first time when we met... ironically at a bus stop.. the checkpoint of our lifes where we would develop a brothership that could withstand all troubles and misunderstandings.. till today our brothership still stands strong or rather stronger then ever... imagine if i had never went to VS and to some other school.. then everything would be different wouldn't it? i wouldnt hav met u and developed this brothership... funny isnt it.. everything seems to be predestined and yet we can confidently say that we chose this path to walk on.. and imagine if i didnt meet u that day at the bus stop then we wouldnt hav grown so close or if i didnt join volleyball then even if we met at the bus stop we wouldnt even recognise each other.. everything is fated..

i remember that fateful friday when we had the longest msn chat.. because i was doin my SS project on population distribution.. imagine if we didnt have that chat.. we wouldnt be so close now... imagine if i decided to do the project on another day, then everything would also turn out different.. imagine if i didnt sign in to msn when i was doin my project, everything would also be different wouldnt it? imagine if i didnt broached the stupid lame subject of rumours.. everything would also be different wouldnt it.. looking at the bigger picture, if i didnt make the choice of coming to the VIP, then we wouldnt even noe each other rite? see everything is fated and yet we confidently say that we chose this path. true i chose to come to the VIP but it was fate that put us together in the same class, same OG and allowed us to develop our frenship.. how ironic is that?

and now as i look back, i realise how fortunate i am to have chosen the path that i had walked on, how fortunate i am to have met the people i had met, how fortunate that fate has put me in this situation where i get to experience wat others do not experience... and yet somehow i feel uncomfortable at it.. i dunno y but it jus comes... emotions fluctuate like the stock market and sometimes it jus crashes...

I wanted you to know I love the way you laughI wanna hold you high and steal your pain awayI keep your photograph and I know it serves me wellI wanna hold you high and steal your pain
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesomeAnd I don't feel right when you're gone away
You've gone away, you don't feel me, anymore
The worst is over now and we can breathe againI wanna hold you high, you steal my pain awayThere's so much left to learn, and no one left to fightI wanna hold you high and steal your pain
[x2]'Cause I'm broken when I'm open And I don't feel like I am strong enough'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesomeAnd I don't feel right when you're gone away
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesomeAnd I don't feel right when you're gone away
You've gone awayYou don't feel me here anymore

comps date

2006-03-17T07:24:00.000-08:00

April 17... the big day fer the 7 of us.. well actually there's more then 7 but erm anyways that's not the main point..

jus calculated 31 days to go.. exactly one more month..

jia you people..

we shalll achieve our goal!!

[april 17 is the start of our comps]
[the road to national 2nd]

camp..

2006-03-16T07:26:00.000-08:00

i just came back from camp three days ago..
it was tiring..
but fun..

this team bonding came was proudly presented to you by Mr Chew, our very nice and thoughtful plus not to mention philosophical and psychological teacher-in-charge..

this camp made me realise alot of things, things that i once took for granted, things that i asusmed people knew but in actual fact they do not. This camp has brought me closer to reality, closer to the people around me... my FAMILY, FRIENDS and most importantly my TEAMMATES. i realised that the world is not just about you and you alone, it involves many other factors that contribute to life. i realised that we must never be self-centred but instead we should broaden our horizon and not be narrow-minded, think bout others, thinks about the BIG picture, but can we as humans ever do that? that is the big question mark thats occupying my mind now. In human nature, we are self-centred only thinking about our own benefits and gains, thinking about how to take advantage of others, thats the cruelty of life and reality.

then what is life, we are living a life, but living a life that we do not understand and will never find an universal answer to, people keep on searching and searching for the answer in life but will we ever now the true meaning? that answer is still undefined. Some people fight and do whatever it takes to gain power, and authority, that is just how the world works, the cruelty of reality, mayb the world is not the simplistic bueatiful place that we imagine it to be. Of course from the comfort of our homes in the little tiny safe country of Singapore we can experince the 'bueatiful world' but it is just different out there, the world out there is cruel, not sympathetic and revolves around the root of all evil- MONEY!

but anyways i shall not get so philosophical, about the camp, first day we had training but like obviously, its a training camp. so we played alot of friendlies with other junior colleges and to our suprise, we won all of them... so we were nearing our final goal after all-- NATIONAL 2nd! after the first day, we were all a little tired but still quite energetic for jokes and all but after the second, day you could just tell that everyone was exhausted. Fatique was starting to set in and our reflexes were amazingly slower then two days ago. Well that was only natural.. try training from morning till nite with only an intermediate break of 1-2 hours before the next friendly or traning started. whew i'm just glad that i did not suffer any injuries or body aches durin that period thanks to the regular cooling down excercises that we did. well enough about the camp, i realised i'm jus regurgitating out all that we did which is quite boring really..

but the camp thought me a very valuable lesson, saved a valuable brothership and improved my skills.. well that was all it took to get me looking forward to the next training camp..

anyways bro, i'm glad everything is jus over, its blown over and we should all just forget bout the unhappy past.. haha.. we shall be close as ever even closer for ever and ever and ever..

~CHEERS!~

the changing tides..

2006-03-12T21:58:00.000-08:00

[ this post is dedicated to special person in my life]

As i lied down there on the floor within the constraints of my sleeping bag and the comfort of the air-con, i thought about many things.. many many things.

it was a volleyball camp..

trying to bond us together..

it somehow workes..

but..

i still miss VSVB and all those happy times, those tough times, those times where u jus feel very tired and feel like giving up and comeone would jus come up to ur back and give u a pat not saying anything else.. it was jus a pat.. but it meant alot and it contributed towards the bonding of the team..

my life in VJC is ngientot atas.. its really so.. i'm startin to hate my life here.. the discrimination, the stress, the generation gap btw the team.. its really pressurizing..

dear bro u may not noe this.. u say i should try to improve my attitude.. i'm trying for ngientot's sake.. i really am.. but i dunno where i should head towards.. be quiet and listen and only speak when u're spoken to or be active and cheer everyone on.. i really dunno.. i'm confused.. i feel like giving up quiting on the sport.. i hang on because i thought that u'll always be there to help me, give me the support i need, and guide me to become a better person.. it seems that u're not.. whenever we talk.. its not about how both of us can improve, be a better person.. but its about those relationships.. wat can i do to make u believe me that i'm not in a relationship wif her.. u keep encouragin me to do so.. izit because u'll feel better or wat.. i really dunno.. i've made my stand clear bout this issue.. and u jus keep goin back to the times bout wat i said.. god.. its over.. get on wif life.. how many times do i have to emphasize that we're jus exceptionally good frens.. wat the hell man.. and u keep thinking otherwise.. wats wrong? i really dun understand... pls enlighten me..

i miss the team in Vs.. we shared wonderful times.. memories that i will take wif me fer the rest of my life.. we may not be a very strong and good team.. but at least i felt comfortable playing there....wif my FRENS.. special thanks to the VSVB team for makin my life, my CCA in VS a wonderful memory that whenever i'm feeling down i'd recollect and realise that 'hey my life WAS not so bad after all"
The team that made me wat i am: Ernest Puey, Lee Bao Jin, Chen Yi Liang, Keith, Kenny Lee, Bronson Cheng.

i feel suffocated..

i feel like i cant breathe anymore..

the pressure its killing me..

one day i may jus give up.. and every trainin.. i'm one step closer to the verge of breaking down..

life so far

2006-03-09T06:48:00.000-08:00

haiz.. shall type this while waiting for stupid yining to finish up her chem essay.. boy, she's taking like forever to finish it la can.. haha.. oh shit i should stop usin 'can' too.. haha.. today's trainin was realy tough and tirin la.. but fun.. i mean spiritually fun.. ever since he left, we hav been trainin really really hard.. to win the comps for him.. i guess thats wat everybody is thinking now.. and then we'll give him the trophy.. haiz.. so fast.. its almost one week already...

his family is devastated, the galfren is hurt deeply and the sis concern bout wat really happened..

talked to her on the phone the other day, she cracked some jokes to liven up the convo but i could tell from the tone that she was really really sad.. haiz.. the real saddness lies with those that lost him, not within himself.. wat could be so bad a problem to take his own life.. every problem in the world has a solution to it. seriously..

anyways shall not broach on that topic anymore b4 i start to feel real sad again.. the pain comes from the memories..

anyways life so far has been really great.. my frens hav all been really supportive esp the HACO.. not to mention kevin, rhoda, sharon blah blah blah.. thx guys.. i'm really jus fine now.. and i'm like freakin thirsty la.. trainin really drains out the water within u.. its liike drainin ur energy, ur life away..

anyways she's done haha.. post some other time cya all.. oh by the way.. we're not together for all the misunderstandins out there esp to CK.. we're not together so chill man.. go sit in the freezer!

the pains...

2006-03-06T07:10:00.000-08:00

the pains.. they never go away.. it'll always stay.. u idiot.. u left without a word.. u left in silence.. u left in pain and u nvr warned us about it.. u looked fine.. but deep inside it was a strom brewing.. still water runs deep.. u were nvr still.. but why are u too deep for anyone to understand and prevent this shit.. today was a horrible day.. in sku i was easily distracted.. when people ask y i'm so sad.. my only ans was.. i'm fine.. dun infer too much.. bad fer health.. i tried to be jovial.. but i jus couldnt.. i had no mood fer everything at that moment.. dear HACOians.. today i seem a bit cheerful.. but i'm srry to hav lied to u uys today.. i was not cheerful.. it was jus a strong front that i try to put up in front of u guys.. i hope u people dun worry.. i'm jus fine and need to be alone sometimes.. but u guys really helped alot.. thx.. without u guys life would hav been meaningless.. frens make up almost half of my life.. u guys make up 60% of my life.. esp u... u really helped alot.. u're rite.. talkin does help.. but only to a certain extent.. the rest is up to me.. i noe u tried ur best and i'm really grateful for tat.. sometimes i try so hard to put up a brave front that i dun even noe who i am anymore.. i have no sense of identity.. my life is in array.. its confusin.. i feel like i'm cheatin my own feelings.. but it still has to be done to not arouse suspicion of my feelings..

i was doin my work this afternoon while listenin to my dear itunes.. music really helps to lighten my burden.. it relaxes my mind.. it supposedly takes my mind of certain things but today's itunes was jus tryin to play wif my heart.. i switched the player on to shuffle and repeat.. it was a great mistake..

jay chou was playing....

it reminded me of him.. jon.. my beloved fren and teammate..
"wo xiang jiu zhe yang qian zhe ni de shou bu fang kai"
"fan zhe wo men de zao pian"

wat the hell... it was his fav phrase.. and a few other vulgarities tat could nvr be heard on court.. he respected people wif so much pride that i envy his character.. i character that would definitely hav a bright future.. he had talents.. undiscovered talents that were yet to unfold.. he was like a flower tats yet to bloom.. it was nvr his full potential.. but its over..

whenever i hear those phrases i think of his jovial smile, his never ending encouragement from the sides, his never say die attitude, his "huo dao lao xue dao lao" theory.. it was such a waste..

in sku i still felt ok.. but its this sense of loneliness and emptyness that i feel when i'm home tat hurts.. i'm still listenin to Jay chou.. although it brings back memories but i still wanna hear them.. to remember him.. the pang of acute pain that i feel seems to be the only consolation that i hav..

[smile for the pain]
[for it'll go away]

i try but i jus cant do it..

facing death is finding life..

2006-03-05T06:31:00.000-08:00

i really dun wanna think bout all the shit that is goin on around the class anymore.. its jus so freakin irritatin.. and a waste of my brain cells.. ZJ.. think wateva u want.. i dun care anymore.. i seriously dun.. because i hav too many F***ing things too think about....

jus two days ago.. we were laughing, jokin, spoutin vulgarities, teasin each other, playin together on the volleyball court.. boy those were the times.. i really cant believe it.. i really dun..

when i learnt about the news.. i kept reminding myself that it was all a dream.. tat it nvr happened.. tat it was all a lie.. a lie.. and tat i would soon find out the truth tat it was a lie.. tat it was jus a nightmare.. but reality is jus so cruel... it was neither.. it was true....

i sat there in the room.. thinkin.. thinkin.. thinkin.. thinkin bout wat could hav caused it.. there were many possibilites.. but i soon realised tat it was all too late.. mayb we could or could not hav done something.. if only he had spoken up.. this would not hav happened.. my live flashed past before my eyes at that instant.. happiness, sorrows were inevitable.. but wat could hav hurt him more than anything so as to do such a thing.. well he took the answer wif him.. the pain does not lie in him.. it lies in those tat are around him... the aftermath of a disaster.. :'(

two days ago.. i lost a friend.. a teammate.. it was really saddenning.. someone told me facing death is finding life.. thank you fer tat encouragement..

i sometimes wonder.. wat was the meaning of life.. i guess its based on perspective and we'll nvr find an absolute, universal answer to tat..

life is jus so fragile.. isnt it.. we can nvr predict wat could possibly happen the next day.. we as pathetic humans live by the day.. and tats really pathetic..

the whole weekend was terrible.. it was the worst.. i dun understand life anymore.. its to complicated.. i'll jus go wif the flow.. and do things when its time to do so..

life and death is all part of the VICIOUS cycle tat we can nvr defy.. i dunno how to express my sadness anymore.. its just beyond words.. anyways srry ZJ if i really misjudged u..

the sorrows in my heart jus keep piling up.. well time will heal everything..

[facing death is finding life]
-will always remember a friend tat i'll nvr see anymore

people change

2006-03-03T07:24:00.001-08:00

today was a really really fun day.. haha.. durin break.. all the HACOIANS were in the class.. haha.. then we did really lame stuff like take pics wif the gals in the box.. haha.. and here r some of the highlights...

JILL being the usual jovial cutiee.. haha
take a CHILL PILL JILL.. sit in the box!

the three "BOXERS".. haha.. so cartoon style

...and here's ning in the box.. like jill (but cuter jk jk).. gosh.. haha. so cuteeee!!

anywaes... alot of things happened today and i dun wish to blog bout it since every HACOIAN is gonna blog bout it... and i feel like its really wrong to say tat la.. she doin her best la can... wif all the freakin things goin on in her life.. she's already copin very well wif the stress and the emotional turmoil and u had to add on it.. come on man.. where's tat common sense or do u even hav one? wat did VS teach u? to be a gentleman, a proffesional and a sportsman.. ok.. u fit the description of the sportsman but wat bout others.. u dun give a damn bout people's feelings.. wat a gentleman man.. anywaes i shall not comment anymore.. think bout it man... wats there will always be there.. no point erasin away from ur memory jus because u wanna impress someone.. its like a computer log book.. all the history will be there.. anywaes if u dun mind.. stay away from her... dun think she likes it..

people change

2006-03-03T07:24:00.000-08:00

homeworkk!!

2006-02-28T07:55:00.000-08:00

argh.. homework is really piling up like siao although i hav finished all of them.. but i guess they're of low quality or i think of them to be low quality.. wat the hell man.. i think i hav to high expectations of myself liao.. anywaes.. tonite was really really funny.. so many funny things happened tat helped to brighten up my day thx man... u noe who u are.. haha.. anywaes its not chummy la u stupid little gal... its jus being bored and lame and hav nothin better to do.. so ok mayb it was chummy.. but it was super retarded and funny la... oh gosh we're gettin the retardness thingy frm JIll.. haha.. but jill's a super jovial person.. nice to tok to too.. anywaes jill cheer up k? dun fret over projects and matters.. let them take their own course and things will jus turn out fine.. so now i'm goin to sleep.. so freakin tired after a whole day at sku doin lots of physical stuff.. think i'll go crazy jus thinkin of all the stuff tat i hav done today.. haha.. so proud.. anywaes i havnt started on my revision yet.. shit.. i'm so screwed.. haha.. anywaes we've found back the friend ship tat we've almost lost havnt we.. its good havin u back........ so ya.. we shall continue or spastic little game another time when we feel really spastic.. haha.. good nite folks!

my life so far

2006-02-27T01:47:00.000-08:00

my life so far has been full of homework.. tests etc.. its realli stressful to be in the VIP.. but nevertheless i dun regret comin here to learn more than wat i would hav learnt if i stayed on in the mainstream.. homework is only one aspect of life.. there r many other factors tat affect life itself.. and i guess so far my social life has been goin up and down.. sure i've made alot of friends.. but its not wat i really want.. i jus want a few friends who i can count on, depend on and trust.. so far there's the HACOIANS.. they're a bunch of great frens.. and ya tehy hav been by my side MOST OF the time.. and i greatly appreciate tat.. but thats also jus one factor in the whole picture.. i really dun wanna get involved in and political shit in the class but i jus cant be left out it huh? i've been accused of alot of things that i apparently didnt do by some people.. y cant they jus believe me?! and i'm really really very confused rite now.. my feelings my emotions hav been gettin the better of me this few days.. i hav no idea y as well.. its jus so fucked up.. i really dun wanna sae this but i had to.. i dunno if i like her or not.. people hav been sayin i do and that has clouded my mind.. wat i'm feeling now is like a bowl of chilli sauce, sugar and salt.. chilli makes up all the times where i jus feel very spiced up.. hot and energize.. sugar makes up all the times when i feel really comfortable after each convo.. and salt makes up all the times when people rub into my wounds.. the feeling u get is fuckin bad.. i really wanna clear things up wif her.. tell her wat i really feel--mixed up.. but i jus dun hav the chance to do so.. mayb in the future.. but rite now.. wat i dun need is a blurred view of every fuckin thing tat people hav to sae.. srry of my use of vulgarities.. it jus helps to express myself..

[my life's fucked up rite now.. when will it ever clear?¿]

my birthday

2006-02-18T01:07:00.000-08:00

i noe i havnt blogged fer like hell long.. but anywaes.. jus to update on my past few weeks of VIP haha.. its been really really stressful. i'm being bombarded wif homework, homework and more homework.. damn bloody sianded.. lots and lots of homework non-stop.. the teachers have been giving us homework like free like that.. damn crazy.. but i noe that they're doin it fer our own good.. so anywaes this yrs birthdae was the best la can.. lots and lots of presents.. alot of them and i'm really glad.. haha.. got and addidas bag from yining, jill, lis , CK and ZJ.. thx lots guys... luv ya lots. and got a pencil case from my bro.. thx man.. u really noe wat i wantd as well.. and chocz from Sharon thx gal.. although it was belated, but i really appreciate the thought.. And on Vday, my wonderful angel gave me a volleyball wif wishins on it.. thx yining. u rock gal, thx fer being such a good fren.. and thx to those who sung me a birthdae song on my birthdae.. u noe guys, i was really shocked when i saw the bag.. didnt expect it.. realli.. anywaes.. my life so far has been great, thx guys fer makin it possible. haha.. anywaes.. i gtg lo.. cya..

bored...

2006-01-22T23:24:00.000-08:00

i'm so bored now.. seriously nothin to do in the class.. and im still waitin fer the gym session to start.. so here i am typin without an aim in the subject.. haha.. but nevertheless.. i situ gotta do this.. to keep myself occupied if not i'll jus die or boredom.. shit i'm jus repeatin wat i'm saein la.. wtf.. anywaes.. today was the first day of the formal lessons.. not as borin as i expected.. lots of new and fresh things well almost fresh and new.. execpt fer all the rules that the teacher's set.. then we had a lang arts test which was super hard la.. ahha.. essay on some stupid topic which was soo hard to write bout.. ok now the gym is startin already.. i gtg cya.. hha..

orientation

2006-01-07T23:57:00.000-08:00

haha.. i noe i havnt blogged fer a hell long time.. but tats becos fer the past one week everyday when i caome home i'm like already half dead.. all the orientation thingy has been a drain to my reserve of energy.. haha.. recently every weekend. i can sleep through the nite till late in the afternoon next mornin.. scary rite? last time i could never do tat.. then orientation was fun la.. lots of activities tat helped to build frenships and teach us the values of teamwork which was the whole main point realli.. then we cheered alot and i must sae. tat the OGLS and council put in alot of effort into makin this orientation possible.. thx people.. had a lot of fun.. and OG dinner was fun too.. haha.. brain fryin.. but good experience..learn lots ok lame things tat day.. then on sat.. i put it to good use to irritate my relatives.. haha.. boy was it a joke.. haha.. anywaes.. i gtg now.. cya.. mondays another super long and tirin day fer me.. SR ends at one.. and my trainin starts at 2.. tata

VIP orientation

2005-12-30T06:24:00.000-08:00

todae was the second day of the VIP orientation... we were grouped into our OG ( orientation group) and i'm in ICIS.. the people there r nice.. haha.. although somehow i'm feeling tat someone frm our group didnt come todae.. cos there were like two gals and three guys.. to inproportionate allady.. but nvm.. it was realli fun.. wet games.. god.. u noe.. there were three games.. candle fight where we were to use our candles and try to burn out other classess' strings.. then i was warm la.. freakin warm.. then the nxt was dodgeball WET style.. was fun though.. think it was the most fun one.. haha.. got 9 frags people.. haha.. then by then i was wet allady la.. so the nxt one was the worst.. water transport.. we were to like transport water frm one end to the other usin onli the materials we hav on ourselves.. then i was like.. HOLY SHIT... so i had to sacrifice los.. take off my shirt to soak up the water.. haha.. my gosh the other group used their shoes and their shirts man.. haha.. then in the end of cos they won la.. but wif all their belongings wet lols.. i nvr want to play tat stupid game again man.. ltr gotta wear wet shirt.. and i heard from charissa; my PSL.. tat we hav to play it again.. god.. bttr be mentally prepared cos the nxt one wld be at EAST COAST.. then on the way to lunch todae had a great chit chat wif our very own loudhailer Christine.. haha.. she can realli shout man.. gawd.. then went to marina cove to hav luch at MAC wif my OG.. fun tokin to them la.. bunch of fun luving people.. then after tat back to sku.. wif a little briefing and nubers exchange session.. we ended the day.. nxt up.. 06O1... cya nxt yr.. happy new year..

mY sTuPiD lOcK

2005-12-28T06:15:00.000-08:00

bloody hell man.. yesterday my stupid door lock failed on me.. shit i was stuck at my grandma's house fer 3 hours straight man.. nothin to do.. finished the newspapers.. finished the magazine.. finished my PSP's batt as well.. sian man.. imagine being stuck there fer two hours straight.. hah.. bored to tears.. and wat could be worst.. my HP batt ran flat.. haha.. sianded.. i decided to bath.. then the door finally came open.. and i ran home.. literally ran home to charge my fone.. haha.. had a busy nite my fone.. sms came in one after another.. flooded inbox.. haha.. damn busy.. then tiredness overcame me and i decided to turn in fer the nite.. whew.. finally home sweet home..hope tat damn lock wont be like tat ever ever EVER again..

2005-12-25T23:07:00.000-08:00

NOthin to blog about now.. so jus wishin everyone happy boxing day..

troubled

2005-12-15T06:44:00.000-08:00

hey guys.. srry i noe tat i didnt post fer hell long time.. cos i was realli realli busy wif a lot of things.. first lets tok bout the chalet ba. last chalet i;m gonna hav wif my teammates as the identity of stiu being in VS.. haiz. cant bare to leave man.. cos its like bonded wif tat team fer 2 whole yrs.. super close and then its all gone.. then at the chalet it was super fun.. played whole day long.. nothin else.. haha.. tats the life i want man.. slack and carefree.. not bein tied down.. game was naruto.. lame man.. but fightin all day long was sure a breather fer all tat stressed up life style we hav nowadays.. haha.. then recently alot of things happen.. i'm very confuse by all the people around me as wel.. haiz.. didnt expect things to turn out this way.. but nvrtheless.. i stiu hav to settle it.. anyways.. this few days was a breather.. realli.. bro u shld noe man.. haha.. then i hav been thinkin bout the meaning of life.. realli wats the meanin of life.. sometimes i realli wonder.. izit bout studyin.. doin well and being successful.. or to fall in luv wif someone u like and bla bla bla or to jus laze around and watch the clock tick ur life away.. i'm so confused.. in a dilemnia now. think diff people should hav their diff opinions bout the meaning of life la.. but as fer myself.. none.. haha.. anyways i gtg liao.. by the way.. its pointless if we cant go out.. think bout it.. enjoy ur trip then.. cya all..

[feelings can be deceiving]

update

2005-11-19T21:46:00.000-08:00

hi peeps.. its been a long while since i've posted ya? recently been quite busy with the trainins and the juniors matches.. so seriously no time to update.. recently several things hav happened in my life.. firstly is that my cousins hav sinced moved to my house temporarily now.. haha.. there r its disadvantages but overall its good cos at least now i've got someone to tok to and study wif rather then sittin around rottin at home.. haha.. next is that i've recently got to noe this future VIP skumate through this KAIPO fren of mine.. however i dun mind cos i luv to make new frens especially when we're goin to be in the same sku.. she's has a real nice character i wld say.. well at least better and more friendlier then MANN.. haha.. that i seriously gotta admit.. srry.. hope that we'ld hav a chance to work together in a group.. but i guess that tendency is nearly 0 becos we're in a diff class.. haha.. thridly is that i wanna congratulate my juniors fer makin it to the second round of the competition and doin the sku proud.. but hope they wont get too arrogant aft this..as the sayin goes 骄者必败.. jus wanna let them noe that their seniors r always behind them.. JIA YOU [gambate!]

nEw pHonE

2005-11-03T22:36:00.000-08:00

i noe i havn't posted fer like hell long la.. busy wat.. all the competitions and all.. so here's a little update.. first up is that i've finally gotten back my form fer volleyball.. ever since i was transferred to the new position my game play has jux been goin from bad to worst now i'm really happy that i have since been able to get back on form and play back to my usual self but of cos wif some hicups occasionally.. but they hav not been a major problem at all.. and i've gotten back my form allady. seriously very satisfied.. next is that my results were not to bad despite my slacking shit studyin style durin the exam periods.. haha.. mm.. percentage was alrite bout 75% second in class AGAIN boy am i so pissed wif the first guy.. damn man.. last exam in vs and he wont even let mt get first shit.. haha.. then last sat was the first time that i met my class in VIP.. haha.. some really look sooo nerdy.. haa.. but its ok.. never judge a bk by its covers.. haha.. then i finally got my new handphone boy was it a long wait of bout half a yr?¿ haha.. tryin to get used to the new sms style.. haha.. mm.. and hope i can get back to being really good frens wif someone that i fell out wif.. hope that person understands my actions and all... seriously.. i look forward to that day when we can jux talk bout anything under the sun and not get worried bout each others reactions.. tats all.. cya

2005-09-17T18:23:00.000-07:00

I didn't know why I played so badly during the friendly match with Chung Cheng High. My mind was a total blank at that point of time my reactions were slow and I just couldn’t keep the ball in the court. I tried all sorts of methods like deep-breathing: self-talk and others. But nothing could keep me from being so nervous. After we lost the first set, my mind was a total blank, I was so nervous I couldn’t keep still.

There were factors why we lost the match and played so badly. But I feel that they were just excuses to why we played so badly. I feel that we were still at the C boy’s level and not only have we not improved but we were worse then before the east zone. Upon learning that most of the six main team players are leaving the school for the IP, our coach has paid less attention towards training us thus the stagnant standard of our skills. But we cannot blame him for doing that as there is really no point in training a team that's about to break up so he focused more on the Sec ones. Another factor was that shortly after being transferred to playing the open spiker, I still have not found the preferable height for me to hit the ball at thus only occasionally can I hit the ball across and keeping it in play. I really need more time at that position to find my “Dian” only then can I exert my full potential at that particular position. I know that I belong to the open spiker position because of my height so I must train really hard to find my touch the same way as I trained for the middle spiker position. I found out the only to do that was to keep on bonding with my setter, only then can I find my “Dian”. I must also learn to refrain myself from being to ambitious and wanting to hit the ball across hard and steep instead I should learn to be more tactical and try to get the ball across when it is not properly being set up.

I must also learn to calm myself down when I am really nervous this will not only help me to perform better in volleyball but also allow me to be calm during the examinations.

Friendly With Chung Cheng`

2005-09-17T17:22:00.000-07:00

Argh.. i'm so pissed wif myself la.. how could i hav played so damn bloody badly lorx.. that's not even 30% of my bloody standard la.. shit man... argh... can't fing my bloody dian lorx.. shit.. k la.. i better go and hit the books and wall liaoz.. argh.. till then ta-ta

nothin to do.._really bored..

2005-09-09T00:07:00.000-07:00

haiz.. i am really very bored to death lehz.. i hav absolutely nothin to do la.. all my hols hw all done liaoz.. not like somebody hor.. havn't even touched it yet.. haiz.. dunno wat to do wif u la.. haha.. can't wait to change my plan man.. then i won't have to change number.. haha.. u'll noe rite?? haha.. dunno wat to say now.. haiz. really running out of topics to write.. haha.. that day played at Bukit Panjang.. played super badly.. well u can't blame me.. i was off form and i sooo long nvr play liaoz. haha.. but 2day finally got my form back.. happy haiz.. k. i gtg liaoz.. bye
cya]

fInAL cOrnEr

2005-08-12T23:27:00.000-07:00

Whew people.. jux watched INTITAL D man.. boy was it shiok ah.. but the show was a bit of a fantasy though.. how can a car drift so much and so many times without the tires wearin out.. haha.. Jay Chou's song PIAO YI was freakin nice laa.. haha.. luckily i got the sound track of the movie so i got the song too la.. obvious isn't it.. school life has been terrible man... every day jux goin through text books and revision.. so damn bloody borin.. no kick in life man.. hahah.. shit... my internet laggin again.. so.. gtg.. bb

hOw i wIsH!!

2005-08-05T23:14:00.000-07:00

When you're lying here in my arms
Baby you're all that i want
cuz our love will light the way
but just hold me now
there's a lot that i can say
Now nothing can change what you mean to me
We're in heaven
We're In Heaven
It isnt too hard to see
And I found it there in your heart
And love is all that I need
we're in heaven
I'm finding it hard to believe
When you're lying here in my arms
Baby you're all that i want
you keep me coming back for more
but thats over now
we've been down that road before
Now nothing can take you away from me
we were young and wild and free
there was only you and me
oh thinkin about our younger years
We're In Heaven
It isnt too hard to see
And I found it there in your heart
And love is all that I need
we're i heaven
Im finding it hard to believe
When you're lying here in my arms
Baby you're all that i want
Im finding it hard to believe
we're in heaven
And love is all that I need
And I found it there in your heart
It isnt too hard to see
We're In Heaven
Now our dreams are coming true
through the good times and the bad
i'll be standing there by you
we're in heaven
love is all that i need
And i find it there in your heart
it isnt to hard to see
we're in heaven

~We're in heaven!~

yAhOO!!

2005-07-29T23:28:00.000-07:00

whew man.. almost got a heart attack.. hahah.. i got accepted by TJC liaoz... then this sat gotta go submit my acceptance form or wateva u call it la.. but.. then this VJC also called me and then inform me that i hav an interview with them this sat at 1.15.. haha.. so i gonna go fer VJC la.. obvious isn't it.. haha... so its the final stretch man.. haha.. hope i can get in heheh... then it would be damn fun.. so wish me luck k guys.. ya and cya..

aDmIsSiOn tEsT !!

2005-07-09T18:03:00.000-07:00

Mm... today woke up very early in the morning at about 7 plus like that... juz because i gotta go fer the TJC admissiontest lorzx... haha.. was kinda nervous at first.. but after that when i got into the examination hall.. my heart juz jumped out.. hahah... the first two papers were the GAT test and the english test la... the first test was quite a breeze lorx.. mm... then the engluish was very tiring fer the hand,.. last but not least after my brain was fried, then came the maths test.. haiz.. so damn difficult lorxz.. think i die liaoz.. haha anywaes.. always look on the bright side la.. haha..so anywaes.. gtg so.. till next time.. bb..

InTeGrAtEd PrOgRaMmE!

2005-07-01T00:00:00.000-07:00

today was a fruitful day fer me.. the day actually started really very boring wif all the youth day talks... argh.. then things started to change as we went to a series of slackin lessons like history and all that... after that, i had volleyball training as alwaes under the bloddy hot sun... durin one of the more often breaks as our coach was on MC... gees the sec ones were like a bunch of uncontrolled kids.. then a call came from temasek junior college regarding the IP thingy, they told me i was shortlisted fer the test.. hah so next saturday, i wld be goin fer the test wish me luck k>>?

To YoU aGaIn!!

2005-06-03T23:10:00.000-07:00

Empty spaces fill me up with holes
Distant faces with no place left to go
Without you within me
I can't find no rest
Where I'm going is anybody's guess
I tried to go on like
I never knew you
I'm awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all
I'm going to be is Incomplete
Voices tell me I should carry on
But I am swimming in an ocean all alone
Baby my baby it's written on your face
You still wonder if we made a big mistake
I try to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I'm going to be is Incomplete
I don't meant to drag it on
But I can't seem to let you go
I don't wanna make you face this world alone
I wanna let you go (alone)
I try to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I'm going to be is Incomplete Incomplete

IPW

2005-06-01T22:57:00.000-07:00

Damn it man... haiz.. wasn't chosen fer this YMCA citibank stuff la... shit now gotta go and change all our schedules and plans... budget and all that crap.. and guess wat the leader which is me; gotta re-organize it again... luckily got my assistant to help me sia.. if not i die liaoz.. hahah.. if we had gotten the YMCA seed funding fer our project ah... things wld hav been diff man... so many much things we could hav done.. haiz log off liaoz la.. so damn */@#ing pissed!!!

tO a SpEcIaL sOmEoNe!!

2005-05-26T23:54:00.000-07:00

I Miss You-Blink 182

Hello there, the angel from my nightmare
The shadow in the background of the morgue
The unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley
We can live like Jack and Sally if we want
Where you can always find me
We'll have Halloween on Christmas
And in the night we'll wish this never ends
We'll wish this never ends
I miss you miss youI miss you miss you
Where are you and
I'm so sorry
I cannot sleep
I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody and always
This sick strange darkness
Comes creeping on so haunting every time
And as I stared I counted
Webs from all the spiders
Catching things and eating their insides
Like indecision to call you
And hear your voice of treason
Will you come home and stop this pain tonight
Stop this pain tonight
Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (I miss you miss you)
Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (I miss you miss you)
Don't waste your time on me you're alreadyThe voice inside my head (I miss you miss you)Don't waste your time on me you're alreadyThe voice inside my head (I miss you miss you) Don't waste your time on me you're alreadyThe voice inside my head (I miss you miss you)Don't waste your time on me you're alreadyThe voice inside my head (I miss you miss you)
I miss you miss you
I miss you miss you
I miss you miss you

iNtEr-HoUsE gAmEs!!

2005-05-26T23:45:00.000-07:00

haix.. yesterday was an almost disaster... y?? we had our stupid interhouse games.... and guess wat.. all volleyball players must join... shit then to make things worse.. i am the only volleyball player in the whole team... then i must one man show to win haix.. but luckily.. we still got third la... EVERYBODY's effort.. hahah... tomorow still got sku sia.. damn sian.. but gettin back the report card... hahah can't wait to noe my position in the whole level.. so till then ta-ta!!

rEsUlTs!!!

2005-05-23T23:09:00.000-07:00

Finally the results are out and i am so damn happy haha... gotta break my record man.. hehe till date allady got 5 A1's haha!!!! Wat i am pissed about is that of all the subjects... i got tuition only for chinese and guess wat i had to get a stupid b4 for that haiz... anyway the rest of the subjects got a A1 so that saved my skin from my mum and dad.. haha... anyways tomorow got school better turn in early so till then... ta-ta!!

SlAcKiN 24/7

2005-05-16T22:43:00.000-07:00

Yo people.. really slackin 24/7 these days man.. haha.. wat to do.. the exams are over dude.. haha by the way starwars 3 is out man.. really can't wait to go watch it... haha .. saw the shots on tv.. wow!! really some pretty impressive effects.. So really busy with the itunes now.. haha eminem is so damn vulgar.. haha .. anyway hillary duff's not bad too.. But i still prefer LP..
[ps: State ur name when u tag cos i get a little confused sometimes!]

ExAmS ArE OvEr!!!!

2005-05-13T22:15:00.000-07:00

Yeah... the hard times hav finally come to an end... whew time to relaxz i suppose... haha.. but now also really got nothin much to do... everyday juz sit around and talk on the phone or stare into blank space.. sian sia.. really can't wait for my results to be out.. haha wanna noe my science and maths results... haha.. quite confident in them la.. k till then ta-ta!!

Exams... Blah Blah...

2005-05-06T23:18:00.000-07:00

hey people.....Long time since i had posted huh?? tha;s cos of the stupid exams la... that's why no time to log and and do this stuff.. hah after much pesterin then i get to do this.. haha must treasure man... by the way exams really suck... no tv no online no nothin.. haha but the papers were relatively easy la i would say.. luckily for me man.. haha.. teh science chem was quite a breeze.. but the bio paper was a killer.. argh can't stand bio papers anymore.. haha.. english had never been my strongest suject thus.. i dun expect much results.. hah .. guess i hav to read for books and newspapers.. k gotta go sleep.. yawnz.. ta-ta

Tuesday-- Borin Day!!

2005-04-26T15:55:00.000-07:00

Haiz.... tuesday is always the worst day of the week... los of heavy metal lessons... like science.. maths and chinese all cramped into one stupid day... hahah.. but.. we still get to go into the com lab... that's why i get to write this entry in... hahah only a while only la... hah lame rite?? K IT lesson gonna start soon... better log off.. still then..
Ta-ta...

Geography rawkz..

2005-04-25T10:40:00.000-07:00

I woke up as usual today.. ready to go to school.. thinking of the com lab lesson today, i was so excited bout it that i sprang outta bed...then i had a great breakfast to supply me for my daily needs.... then i was off to school.. Funny ting is that only when i go to the com lab that i get to do this..haha funny rite.. then ireceived an unexpected suprise today.. a presentation on geogaphy... my fav...
GEOGRAPHY RAWKS..
K otta go now.. till then.. ta-ta

The Day-Saturday

2005-04-23T00:02:00.000-07:00

Today was the most borin day in my life.. woke up brush teeth... breakfast.. then guess wat went straight to study... borin rite?? then study till lost track of time then gotta go eat lunch and then study again.. the same thing for the nite.. juz that i get to log on.. yeah..haha.. so that's bout it... ta-ta..
Sleepzzzzzzz...